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The Bereavement Support Service Blog

Bereavement Blog number three

Here we are then; it's 2014 and we are still alive! Most of us, I sincerely hope, are very glad that is the case but I am aware that for some the very act of continuing to breathe in and out, to keep on going to bed at night and still being alive the next day seems to be a curse rather than a blessing.

Despair and depression are natural emotions when we are bereaved and are recognisable stations on the difficult journey we are forced to travel and the truth is that, except in certain fairly rare circumstances, moving on is going to happen because we are equipped with the capacity to have terrible loss and yet survive.

You have probably heard bereavement being referred to as a process and articles and books on bereavement often refer to 'the phases and stages of loss'. Because some find this a useful way of looking at grief I thought we might discuss it briefly.

At first, however expected the death of our loved one might be and especially if that death has been sudden, we are, to some degree or another, in a state of shock. This puts us unto a kind of numb suspension in which an automatic pilot takes over and keeps us functioning, sometimes amazingly efficiently. Sometimes we may feel detached, almost as though we are standing outside ourselves. We wonder why we are not crying more and may feel that we should be. Of course this is not how everyone feels by any means but should this be your experience it is important to recognise that it is natural and no reflection at all of the degree of your loss or your love for the person who has died.
Feeling like this may last for hours, days, weeks but will inevitably pass and we're off. The journey has begun and we are on a roller coaster from which we cannot, safely or healthily, escape.

Continued on next page

Make contact with us at the Bereavement Support Service, via email, silverlinings@gmx.co.uk or phone us, Barbara or Renee on 01485 534741 or contact us via the web site.

If you have questions, comments, opinions, please write. We would love to hear from you and we will be submitting more short 'blogs' in which we would very much like to talk about the things that you are concerned about.
Whoever you are God knows you and although you might be nameless to us, as we pray for you, which we do, your name and the name of your loved one is held in our Father's keeping.

Bereavement Support 3

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